I've been writing short stories for years, Many of them have been performed live; some of them have been on the radio, or adapted for stage. I'm currently looking for a literary agent to discuss publishing these as a collection. You can read some of them, below. If you're lookig for my stories on East of the Web, I'm sorry, they're not there any more.
The Wicker Husband
The ugly girl can’t find a husband, so she asks the basket-maker to make her one. But when the wicker husband is finished, he makes such an excellent spouse that the rest of the village get jealous and determine to destroy them both. But the villagers haven’t reckoned on the old basket maker, who decides to get his revenge… A traditional but completely original folk tale.
The Brassicstein Cabbage Wars
The Emperor invades the cabbage-growing nation of Brassicstein, but a well-aimed broccoli stalk ends his ambitions. His son, the New Emperor, develops a violent aversion to vegetables. Years later, a vicious ban on fruit and veg is causing crippling stomach-ache across the empire. Even the Emperor's own sister is engaged in fruit-based sedition. It seems that nothing will change, until the Princess’s maid is arrested by the secret police.
The Time-Sweepers
The time-sweepers are the people who sweep up lost time. You can’t see them, but every time you throw away time, they’re there.
The Time-Sweepers was featured on East of the Web for several years, garnering lots of five-star user reviews.
The Mad Monk
The Mad Monk is dedicated to a lonely life in a tower on a cliff. He hates everything and everyone, and has a strict schedule of self-punishment. His only vice is Battenburg cake from the village shop. One day, the Monk’s cake is stolen. His world falls into chaos as his attempts to get a new cake force him to deal with the residents of the village, all of whom have problems of their own… You can read the story here
Vusi Makusi
Vusi Makusi is a hopeless optimist. He arrives in a village in the middle of the jungle, intent on bringing progress. The locals think he’s insane. When he wants to visit his mother, Vusi goes for a bus that never arrives. Vusi just keeps waiting, despite attempts to persuade him to see reason. But might Vusi have the last laugh, and is he quite as much of a fool as he seems?
Vusi Makusi was featured on East of the Web for several years, garnering lots of five-star user reviews.
The Truth About Me And Fat Dick
Dick Whittington’s cat spills the beans about their business partnership. Dick Whittington only cares about food. The cat does the business deals. Things starts to look good when the cat persuades Dick to run for mayor. The cat does business in the backroom while Fat Dick does lunch with investors, but things start to go wrong when Fat Dick tries to cut the cat out of his deals...
The Ghost Tiger
Colonel Chumley-Smythe is the greatest hunter in the Raj. When he hears of the mythical ghost tiger he goes in search of the beast, vowing not to return till he's killed it. That’s the last anyone hears of him, until eighty years later. Zoologist Dr Gill, a scientific, rational sort of lady, is alone on the nature reserve one night when a strange man appears to save her from a huge white tiger…
The World's Fattest Ballerina
Fat stripper Belle grows up in a trailer park, longing to be a real ballerina. Her chance arrives unexpectedly in the shape of handsome principal dancer Sergei, who visits the strip club and takes Belle as his partner. Belle is delighted, but the underfed corps de ballet are less than pleased. Tragedy lurks in the wings…
Percy Perkins & Mrs Stoat
Elderly bachelor and grower of prize marrows, Percy Perkins, falls in love with Mrs Enid Stoat, a cake-baking widow. But the unexpected ardour of their romance causes all hell to break loose in the village. A romantic, comedic tragedy set in 1920’s England, with just a tinge of Arthurian legend.
The Darkness in the Forest
Long ago, people started a village, and paid homage to a being, half-bird, half-human, they saw in the woods. The village turns into a city, but it still keeps the legend of The Darkness in the Forest, which inspires fame, art and literature, not to mention a huge annual party. But one day, a professor decides to prove The Darkness in the Forest is just an unusual kind of chicken: he captures the hapless creature. But he hasn't reckoned with the cleaning lady, whose sympathies are with the bird.
Baron Hardgraft
Medieval hard man Baron Hardgraft can’t stand the thought that anyone in the vicinity isn’t working their guts out for him. One day he meets a very lazy goat, a goose, and an old woman. Hardgraft is unconvinced by the old woman’s story that the goat and the goose are demons, and only she can keep them from fighting. But he may have picked the wrong quarrel, this time.
The Box
A middle-class family find a metal box on the beach. Dad Graham won’t let his kids open it. One-by-one, each of the family find something very different inside. None of them admit it, until at last they begin to disintegrate. But what does the box want, and why won’t the police take it seriously?
You can read The Box here
The Robin
In a cold Victorian mansion, the young master lives in a dark room and speaks to no-one but a robin that appears on the lawn. But as midwinter falls, a strange change comes over the bird. A very short story for Christmas or winter solstice.
The Emperor and the Butterflies
The Emperor’s many slaves keep revolting. He can’t understand what they want, and his advisors struggle to explain. He decress that if the slaves can explain what this freedom thing is, they can have it. Unfortunately, everyone has a different idea.
Please Do Not Feed the Aliens
The crew of a scientific mission live in a spaceship above a gas giant planet, investigating the alien life below. They can’t communicate or even exist in the same pressure as the new species. Despite this, a scientist and an alien seem to have fallen in love. Is this even possible? Are the things under the gas clouds sentient? How can you tell them apart, let alone even talk to them? And worst of all, how the hell are they supposed to explain all this back to mission control?
The Wicker Husband
The ugly girl can’t find a husband, so she asks the basket-maker to make her one. But when the wicker husband is finished, he makes such an excellent spouse that the rest of the village get jealous and determine to destroy them both. But the villagers haven’t reckoned on the old basket maker, who decides to get his revenge… A traditional but completely original folk tale.
The Brassicstein Cabbage Wars
The Emperor invades the cabbage-growing nation of Brassicstein, but a well-aimed broccoli stalk ends his ambitions. His son, the New Emperor, develops a violent aversion to vegetables. Years later, a vicious ban on fruit and veg is causing crippling stomach-ache across the empire. Even the Emperor's own sister is engaged in fruit-based sedition. It seems that nothing will change, until the Princess’s maid is arrested by the secret police.
The Time-Sweepers
The time-sweepers are the people who sweep up lost time. You can’t see them, but every time you throw away time, they’re there.
The Time-Sweepers was featured on East of the Web for several years, garnering lots of five-star user reviews.
The Mad Monk
The Mad Monk is dedicated to a lonely life in a tower on a cliff. He hates everything and everyone, and has a strict schedule of self-punishment. His only vice is Battenburg cake from the village shop. One day, the Monk’s cake is stolen. His world falls into chaos as his attempts to get a new cake force him to deal with the residents of the village, all of whom have problems of their own… You can read the story here
Vusi Makusi
Vusi Makusi is a hopeless optimist. He arrives in a village in the middle of the jungle, intent on bringing progress. The locals think he’s insane. When he wants to visit his mother, Vusi goes for a bus that never arrives. Vusi just keeps waiting, despite attempts to persuade him to see reason. But might Vusi have the last laugh, and is he quite as much of a fool as he seems?
Vusi Makusi was featured on East of the Web for several years, garnering lots of five-star user reviews.
The Truth About Me And Fat Dick
Dick Whittington’s cat spills the beans about their business partnership. Dick Whittington only cares about food. The cat does the business deals. Things starts to look good when the cat persuades Dick to run for mayor. The cat does business in the backroom while Fat Dick does lunch with investors, but things start to go wrong when Fat Dick tries to cut the cat out of his deals...
The Ghost Tiger
Colonel Chumley-Smythe is the greatest hunter in the Raj. When he hears of the mythical ghost tiger he goes in search of the beast, vowing not to return till he's killed it. That’s the last anyone hears of him, until eighty years later. Zoologist Dr Gill, a scientific, rational sort of lady, is alone on the nature reserve one night when a strange man appears to save her from a huge white tiger…
The World's Fattest Ballerina
Fat stripper Belle grows up in a trailer park, longing to be a real ballerina. Her chance arrives unexpectedly in the shape of handsome principal dancer Sergei, who visits the strip club and takes Belle as his partner. Belle is delighted, but the underfed corps de ballet are less than pleased. Tragedy lurks in the wings…
Percy Perkins & Mrs Stoat
Elderly bachelor and grower of prize marrows, Percy Perkins, falls in love with Mrs Enid Stoat, a cake-baking widow. But the unexpected ardour of their romance causes all hell to break loose in the village. A romantic, comedic tragedy set in 1920’s England, with just a tinge of Arthurian legend.
The Darkness in the Forest
Long ago, people started a village, and paid homage to a being, half-bird, half-human, they saw in the woods. The village turns into a city, but it still keeps the legend of The Darkness in the Forest, which inspires fame, art and literature, not to mention a huge annual party. But one day, a professor decides to prove The Darkness in the Forest is just an unusual kind of chicken: he captures the hapless creature. But he hasn't reckoned with the cleaning lady, whose sympathies are with the bird.
Baron Hardgraft
Medieval hard man Baron Hardgraft can’t stand the thought that anyone in the vicinity isn’t working their guts out for him. One day he meets a very lazy goat, a goose, and an old woman. Hardgraft is unconvinced by the old woman’s story that the goat and the goose are demons, and only she can keep them from fighting. But he may have picked the wrong quarrel, this time.
The Box
A middle-class family find a metal box on the beach. Dad Graham won’t let his kids open it. One-by-one, each of the family find something very different inside. None of them admit it, until at last they begin to disintegrate. But what does the box want, and why won’t the police take it seriously?
You can read The Box here
The Robin
In a cold Victorian mansion, the young master lives in a dark room and speaks to no-one but a robin that appears on the lawn. But as midwinter falls, a strange change comes over the bird. A very short story for Christmas or winter solstice.
The Emperor and the Butterflies
The Emperor’s many slaves keep revolting. He can’t understand what they want, and his advisors struggle to explain. He decress that if the slaves can explain what this freedom thing is, they can have it. Unfortunately, everyone has a different idea.
Please Do Not Feed the Aliens
The crew of a scientific mission live in a spaceship above a gas giant planet, investigating the alien life below. They can’t communicate or even exist in the same pressure as the new species. Despite this, a scientist and an alien seem to have fallen in love. Is this even possible? Are the things under the gas clouds sentient? How can you tell them apart, let alone even talk to them? And worst of all, how the hell are they supposed to explain all this back to mission control?
